Dealing With Mommy Guilt & Comparisons

 

I never knew how competitive moms could be until I became one myself.

From feeding choices, to daycare, career choices, and sleeping methods, moms constantly compare their child or parenting choices to others.  Most do it unintentionally and are probably unaware that they’re comparing. But still, it happens often.

The moment will come when a mother has to make one of the biggest decisions in motherhood-one that has moms of today divided into two categories: being a stay-at-home-mom or a working mom. Some are able to do both (more power to you!), but most moms are not able to. But with whatever decision you decide, don’t let anyone make you feel bad about your decision.  Moms already deal with enough stress, so we should be uplifting one another instead of making each other feel bad for whatever reason.

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I’ve talked about how some moms sometimes feel a sense of self loss at times. It can get lonely. Staying home with an infant all day and feeling out of touch with “life out there.” Or maybe you had to go back to work and now you’re feeling mommy guilt because other moms have it “easy” and are able to stay at home with baby (which isn’t easy at all, by the way!).  Whichever you are,  you should not feel bad for making a decision that another mom doesn’t agree with. And what’s with the term full-time mom? We’re all full-time moms, the way I see it… I hate that term…

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Anyway, it has been a rough couple of days. Enough coffee could not help with the physical and emotional exhaustion I’m feeling right now. Exhausted because my baby is teething and hasn’t been sleeping well, and also because I have recently gone back to teaching online part-time. Although I get to stay home with my 3-month old infant,  I sometimes second guess my decision to go back to work.

Is it too soon? Am I crazy?  How will I manage everything?

I’m grateful to have a career where I can do both-stay home with baby and work, but I won’t lie and say it’s easy. I don’t know how long I will be able to do it but for now, I’m enjoy the little moments.  I get to see him grow and reach every milestone.

“Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.”
-Barbara Kingslover

Keep doing you. No matter what, do what’s best for you. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. And if your friends are making you feel bad about your parenting decisions,  get you some new supportive friends!

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The Hassle With Making Mom Friends

Oh crap. I only have one mom friend. Several weeks ago, I was sitting simply reflecting on my life and the friends I’ve had throughout the years and I started to think, “Oh wow. What happened to so and so…? Oh crap. I only have one mom friend. I think. Or maybe two at the most.” Which would be fine if they lived in the same state as me. So I started to realize that some people just move on, and others have a hard time moving on or letting go. Which one am I? And I the kind to hold on […]

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You Make Motherhood Look So Easy!

Is motherhood as scary as it sounds? For the past couple of weeks, since giving birth to my second baby, I’ve gotten comments such as, “You Make Motherhood Look So Easy!” My first thought was, “What the heck does that even mean?” I received this comment from a mom and from a friend who doesn’t have children yet. I was so confused, so I asked my husband if I should be offended or flattered.Then I decided to ask for clarification from one of the persons who told me this—the one without children yet.  She further explained that as someone without […]

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Leave My Body Alone…Curves and All

It can be very difficult for some women to get back in shape after baby. We all have different body types, so for some it may happen in a month and others it may take a year or even longer. I’m still not cleared to exercise, so today I started with some light stretching, as my muscles were feeling tight. My baby slept peacefully in the solly wrap against mommy’s chest. My advice to women postpartum is, I believe that when you are ready, take your time and do the exercises that feel right to you and your body. There […]

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The Birth Story

  Birth Story of J.J. On that Wednesday, my family and I did some walking in a local mall where I kept getting non ending pressure in the pelvic area. I started to lose more and more of my mucus plug and could hardly walk. Three days prior, my dr did give me a stretch but I was barely a 1 and 50% effaced, so I didn’t think it would work–neither did she. So that night around 2am, my braxton hicks contractions started to feel a bit more intense little by little. I was 38 weeks and 4 days. The […]

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Solly Baby Wrap Review

So today as I was busy in the kitchen, I was finally able to wear my Solly Baby Wrap and I am happy with the results. First, I watched the video below: Then I did a few tries without the baby first. The first time I placed baby in, he was way up too high, so be sure that he’s not too high or too low. Just in the right position where you can place a kiss on his forehead if you looked down. Overall, it is very comfortable and I did not feel like my muscles were in pain […]

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Just Received My Solly Baby Wrap “Coral”

Just received my Solly Baby Wrap and I’m excited about putting it to use soon! I chose the newest color “coral” because it’s spring/pretty much summer in AZ now. I will definitely write a longer blog post about it when I actually use it with my soon to be born baby boy! I received a 15% discount too so be sure to always look for those before purchasing. $65 to $55. I ordered it on Sunday and got it Tuesday morning. Shipping was free! I advise visiting the Solly Wrap Instagram’s page @sollybabywrap or her website. Which wrap do/did you […]

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Mommy Time

As a mother and a wife, I am mostly occupied throughout the day with taking care of my baby, spending time with The Hubz, and handling household responsibilities. Mothers are always busy doing something! So, any chance I get to just have one hour to myself and unwind, I jump at the opportunity! Every now and then it’s okay and important to just have some time to yourself. I had an interview downtown this morning, so after the interview I had the chance to check out Lola Coffee Bar. It was so good to just sit there and relax that […]

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