The Perfect Life

“EVERY MINUTE YOU SPEND WISHING YOU HAD SOMEONE ELSE’S LIFE IS A MINUTE SPENT WASTING YOURS.”

Sometimes people take instagram to the next level–as if it is literally real life.

What people do not know is that behind every perfect square, there is a story or a set up, should I say. That’s right. Those perfect feeds don’t happen naturally. They take effort, time and dedication! Most of those photos you see on perfect IGs are staged. People may take several shots of the same thing, and then go through a tedious editing process to only choose ONE picture to post. All this just for instagram! Not long ago, I was really obsessed with Instagram, but after taking a break for a while, I realized I had to make some changes.

One of the reasons I recently decided to make my Instagram less about my kids and home, and focus on my interests instead, such as my appreciation for the desert life, adventure, and travel, is because I really got tired of people thinking my life is perfect and I felt like I was attracting envy and jealousy. I understand that some people really mean well when they they:

“You are mom goals”, “You handle it so well!”, “I wish I could be strong like you.”, “Your house is always perfect.”

Haha. Well, thank you, but..

The truth is, I am just as human as you. Instagram is just Instagram. People post pretty pictures because people want to see pretty pictures. I am not perfect. Matter of fact, I am going through one of the most difficult stages of my life. I have been struggling with anger and bitterness and just like most of us, I’m just trying to survive! Day by day, I am leaning on God to strengthen me.

Just because I do not post about these negative emotions and difficult moments, it doesn’t mean I don’t have them or that they don’t exist. Just the other day, I broke down out of nowhere because I was feeling so overwhelmed with everything.

It’s time to stop comparing yourself to what you see on Instagram because there is much more to those squares. Every picture has a story. I guess you could say that’s the downfall of social media; it creates envy and the comparison game.

“So and so has this, so I’m gonna go get it too.”

I love Instagram because I get to follow amazing people with beautiful feeds I love so much. I get to share what I love with the use of photos and connect with people, but it’s so easy to get sucked into the comparison game, y’all.

Sometimes people take instagram to the next level–as if it is literally real life.

What people do not know is that behind every perfect square, there is a story or a set up, should I say. That’s right. Those perfect feeds don’t happen naturally. They take effort, time and dedication! Most of those photos you see on perfect IGs are staged. People may take several shots of the same thing, and then go through a tedious editing process to only choose ONE picture to post. All this just for instagram! Not long ago, I was really obsessed with Instagram, but after taking a break for a while, I realized I had to make some changes.

One of the reasons I recently decided to make my Instagram less about my kids and home, and focus on my interests instead, such as my appreciation for the desert life, adventure, and travel, is because I really got tired of people thinking my life is perfect and I felt like I was attracting envy and jealousy. I understand that some people really mean well when they they:

“You are mom goals”, “You handle it so well!”, “I wish I could be strong like you.”, “Your house is always perfect.”

Haha. Well, thank you, but..

The truth is, I am just as human as you. Instagram is just Instagram. People post pretty pictures because people want to see pretty pictures. I am not perfect. Matter of fact, I am going through one of the most difficult stages of my life. I have been struggling with anger and bitterness and just like most of us, I’m just trying to survive! Day by day, I am leaning on God to strengthen me.

Just because I do not post about these negative emotions and difficult moments, it doesn’t mean I don’t have them or that they don’t exist. Just the other day, I broke down out of nowhere because I was feeling so overwhelmed with everything.

It’s time to stop comparing yourself to what you see on Instagram because there is much more to those squares. Every picture has a story. I guess you could say that’s the downfall of social media; it creates envy and the comparison game.

“So and so has this, so I’m gonna go get it too.”

I love Instagram because I get to follow amazing people with beautiful feeds I love so much. I get to share what I love with the use of photos and connect with people, but it’s so easy to get sucked into the comparison game, y’all.

“Be careful what you envy; everything is not always as it seems. ”

I honestly got so tired of all the comments about my life, kids, and home being perfect, so when my Chez Debz Blog went down the drain, I decided to focus on Desert Dweller Debz. I still post about my family + home every now and then but it is not the main focus. I wanted to share this with you all a while ago but I never got around to writing this blog post. My life is not perfect. My kids scream–all day. They fight. I yell. They yell. They make a big mess. Sometimes I go to sleep with a dirty kitchen. I still teach part time so some days, I don’t sleep until midnight, and wake up at 6am, while nursing baby all night. Some nights I get no sleep. Some days I don’t cook. my closet is currently a mess. Other days, everything is in order and I feel like super mom (Like today LOL)! Each day is a new day to do things differently and through my journey, I like to use Instagram to document my days like a lot of us do. Please don’t envy me or anyone else on on IG or Facebook. like this quote says:

“Comparison is a thug that robs your joy. But it’s even more than that – Comparison makes you a thug who beats down somebody – or your soul. ”

— ANN VOSKAMP
I honestly got so tired of all the comments about my life, kids, and home being perfect, so when my Chez Debz Blog went down the drain, I decided to focus on Desert Dweller Debz. I still post about my family + home every now and then but it is not the main focus. I wanted to share this with you all a while ago but I never got around to writing this blog post. My life is not perfect. My kids scream–all day. They fight. I yell. They yell. They make a big mess. Sometimes I go to sleep with a dirty kitchen. I still teach part time so some days, I don’t sleep until midnight, and wake up at 6am, while nursing baby all night. Some nights I get no sleep. Some days I don’t cook. my closet is currently a mess. Other days, everything is in order and I feel like super mom (Like today LOL)! Each day is a new day to do things differently and through my journey, I like to use Instagram to document my days like a lot of us do. Please don’t envy me or anyone else on on IG or Facebook. like this quote says:

“Comparison is a thug that robs your joy. But it’s even more than that – Comparison makes you a thug who beats down somebody – or your soul. ”

— ANN VOSKAMP

When Social  Media Becomes Suffocating, Addicting, and Obsessive.

Yes, we all know. Social media is the best thing that was ever created, especially for this millennial  generation. But what happens when too much of social media becomes a bit…

addicting…

obsessive…

suffocating ?

Instagram is a BIG DEAL for bloggers. I am a blogger, so it is a BIG DEAL for me. It is the place where we brand ourselves as bloggers and grow readership. It is a one stop place where we can be inspired, motivated, and connected. I  have made many “online” friends who I will probably never meet in person, who are bloggers, writers, home decor lovers, coffee enthusiasts, photographers, moms, and teachers etc. It is a great community. Even with the popular Snapchat app (more on Snapchat later), Instagram still remains my all time favorite  social media network. And as much as I love it, it can also be a place where one becomes  obsessed,  depressed, addicted, and too distracted.

Most feeds I follow have beautiful pictures, inspiring captions, and almost perfect lives. I’m sure it is not the intent, but that is how it comes across to many people.

The thing with IG is that:

1. It displays  snippets or brief moments of your life that may portray/translate as your entire life to followers. For example, I love sharing snippets of our home, as a home décor lover. It is pretty much what I blog about. Home, family, lifestyle….  But more than once, I have received comments such as, “You’re so lucky” and “Your kitchen is always clean.”

Lies.Yes, on pictures my kitchen is always clean. In real life,  it is clean 90% of the time as well because I simply love a clean kitchen, but it doesn’t mean thats it’s  ALWAYS clean. It doesn’t  mean that it’s  NEVER dirty.

I don’t  think I’m lucky. We bought our dream home and I’m in love with it but it wasn’t  luck that got us here. It is hard work.

2. This leads me to my next point. Comparison.  I know more than once I’ve  seen something in someone’s  house or outfit  and thought “I want it too. So nice…” I’m not a fashion blogger, so I don’t  go as far as buying the same thing but I know many people who get depressed and start comparing their closet, body, home, to the people they follow on Instagram.  Don’t  let it get to you.  No one has the perfect  life. Many of those photos are staged.

3. For bloggers, we constantly obssess over numbers: Numbers of likes, followers and comments. Oh, and of course, the best filter.  I know someone who told me that he deletes his pictures if he doesn’t get enough likes within an hour. Lol. I know we all may have been guilty of being sad that a certain picture did not perform as well as another. And the constant follow/unfollow shenanigans is  annoying.  If you don’t  know what I’m  talking about,  some people follow other people and wait until they follow back, and once they do, they unfollow them. I know. So petty. But that’s Instagram  for you.

Sometimes I take over a dozen of pictures before choosing the one to post. Sometimes  I change my mind and don’t  post because they’re not “Instagram Worthy” afterall. I know I’m not the only  blogger who does this.


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4. We forget to live in the moment because we are so distracted. I know I do. Baby just smiled. Take a picture. Toddler is playing basketball with hubby. Take a picture. First day at the beach. Take a picture. We are so invested in snapping the best shot that we are not truly there.  I’m  working on being present more and less on my phone, especially with my kids and hubby. At times I could be reading but instead I’m  scrolling through my feed. I love taking photos, and I normally don’t  post all the pictures I take, but it’s  still important to draw the line.

5. Yes, it can be depressing. For me, IG does not affect me much in that sense, but I know others may feel that way when viewing others  having fun. Maybe not IG, but Snapchat.

I had snapchat but have recently  deleted my account. I understand why people say Snapchat is more fun because it was fun. Snapping every moment of your day but it is also annoying. Some people only snap when they have something  fun going on. Others snap while driving, watching tv, you name it. I got really annoyed with watching  people’s  lives and with myself. Enough is enough already. Instagram is enough for me, so Snapchat  became suffocating.  It had to go.

Notice I haven’t  discussed Facebook? Well, for me personally, I don’t  use FB much unless I have an inspiring status or blog post to share. I went three years without FB and recently came back, so I don’t  spend much time there.

It  is important to not let social media dictate our lives.

Currently, my IG is deactivated. But I’m  such a lover of IG that I think I’ll  be back before I know it. It’s been a loooonng week without IG. But I have been living in the moment more, and a break is always refreshing–even for a few days.  I’ve been enjoying my quiet moments. Playing with the kids. Giving hubby my full attention.   Spending time on my patio. Drinking coffee. Reading books. Praying. Reading my Bible. Meditating. All without the need to document it…except for my blog, of course. Ha.

So the next time you pull out your phone to check  one of your social  media accounts for the hundredth time, think about something more productive you could be doing instead.