When Writing Doesn’t Go as Planned..

What is a new with me? Well, so much.

Firstly, I am very sad because I have not been able to complete NANOWRIMO. Unfortunately, last week I grabbed my laptop from the counter, while holding baby on the other arm, and it just slipped from my arms like silk and hit the floor.

Then there was the noise that made me cringe and I thought for sure, I broke it. It worked fine that evening, but the next day it would not turn on. I got this MacBook Air for Christmas last year, so it’s been less than a year. I’m hoping the next place I take it to will fix the problem (first place could not). Apple store wants to charge me pretty much what we paid for to fix it, so we are looking at alternatives.

Anyway, so when that happened I resorted to our home PC, whose screen also gave up on me. Perfect timing. So I had no computer. After days of not being able to write, I realized we had another laptop (a slow Lenovo laptop), it is what I am currently writing on and it hurts my fingers like no other.

So this is what has been going on with me. I have been focused on getting a lot of things done for work and home, as I begin a new journey this upcoming Monday. I will be going back to work full-time after forever, so I am quite nervous about it but am excited about the opportunity to write full-time for a great company.

I am also a bit sad about not being home with the kids anymore, worrying in the back of my mind about how they will cope with mommy being gone all day. I am at peace knowing that they will be home, in great hands, but still feel a bit sad. I will miss our walks and our adventures together. It is bittersweet, but I also know that working will make me a better mom. Pray for me!

This was an update on my “writing life”– although I have not been able to complete NANO, I’m shifting my attention on writing more non fiction and bringing awareness on Spiritual Abuse. I hope that one day, I will share my story in a published book, but for now I am focused on bringing awareness to this important matter.

Writing may not always go as planned, but don’t let it get you down or slow you down. Writing comes with obstacles and struggles, so keep typing.

Perhaps I was not meant to finish that story.

Anyway, I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving!

I am Writing An Entire Novel in One Month.

It has been a very long time since I got excited about writing fiction. For a while it became like such a chore and just the thought of it made me anxious. I have had no desire  to write for more than a year now.

Then I started playing with the idea of doing National Novel Writing Month.

Am I crazy?

I had not even written a single word in forever and now I’m signing up to write an entire novel in one month?

Yes, clearly I’m nuts. But I had this story tugging at my heart, my fingers were aching to type and tell the story. So I decided, why not? I have a peaceful corner in my house that I created, dedicated for writing and reading. Might as well put it to use.

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I have had this hate and love relationship with writing the past year. I have been doubting myself and my talent, thinking that maybe I’m just not cut out to be a real “writer.” Maybe people just don’t want to tell me the truth, you know? But every time I doubt myself, someone somehow ends up encouraging me or praising me for something I wrote that they recently read.

Okay. Maybe I’m not so bad after all. I decided to go for it.

Write, Deb. You were born to tell stories!

Now that it is November 4th, how am I really doing with #nanowrimo?  It started off a bit rocky. Matter of fact, I did not start writing until day three (yesterday). I finally sat down to WRITE, and boy, did I write. It was as if all I needed was to sit down and just write. Words, characters, and ideas just came flying out. I couldn’t stop. I was excited and thinking non stop about the book and the characters. I still am.

I am writing an entire novel in one month.

no more excuses.

but really, my excuse was that I’ve been too busy reading instead. And at first, I started with a story that just wasn’t it. It felt like I was forcing it. It wasn’t the story I should write.

my heart wanted to tell a different story.

so here I am, writing.

let’s hit those 3k words. Daily.

 

 

Do You Still Write?

There are moments that I cherish with all my heart. Nap time. Quiet time. Me time. Mommy time. However you choose to call it–it’s that moment I get to be myself to write and read. Yesterday, everyone was taking a nap and it was a beautiful moment of silence. Just me, typing on my keyboard after a long, stressful week.  I like to escape in different corners of the house, and yesterday’s choice was the dining room.

I have been job hunting (again) and it has been so draining and stressful. I applied to a minimum of fifty jobs  in my field and have been getting interviews, but so far I am still hoping and praying for a job offer. Long story short, I’m done being an adjunct. I will write another blog post detailing the struggles of #AdjunctLife next time.

Back to the subject at hand, I have not been living what I preach. You know? The whole write everyday thing that I preach to my creative writing students? Guilty.

Do You Still Write?

I get this question often. And the truth is, the past few weeks have been challenging, writing/career wise, but I’m taking it one day at a time. Trying to make time for the things you love can sometimes seem impossible but every time I sit down to write, I remember why I write.  No, I do not write fiction as much, but I do enjoy journaling a lot more. Moral of the story is:

You may fall out of love with a passion because you don’t do it enough, but once you reconnect, things will fall into place.

img_20181022_205012_3902143437309.jpgSo today it’s a late night writing. Matter of fact, I started with some fiction and here I am now writing a blog post after almost two months.  I  am preparing  for National Novel Writing Month. I haven’t done this challenge in seven years, so this shall be fun! I think. Writers, who else is doing #NaNoWriMo with me?

What are you writing this year?

How Do You Spend Your Time?

The quality of your life is determined by how effectively you use time.

-Michelle McClain-Walters

I am making the most of my time instead of complaining about the time I don’t have. If that means I get to journal for three minutes, then so be it because time is the measure of life.

How you spend your time defines you.

 

There are moments where I have an hour or two to myself when all the kiddos are asleep, and I usually spend that time watching TV when I could be using that time wisely by reading a book, for example (since I compain about not having enough time to read anymore).

So I’m making a pact with myself to be more mindful of how I spend my time in general. If there is one thing that we absolutely cannot take back in life, it’s time. Last night, I read for an hour before I practically passed out on the couch but it felt amazing to escape into a book again.

If you were to be defined by how you spend most of your free time, what would you be called?

 

Enjoy the Season You’re In

I feel like I need a change. Career wise. Why aren’t we ever content with where we are? For whatever reason, I feel like where I am now is not enough or where I truly want to be. But then I hear God whisper to me,

Enjoy the season you’re in.

My husband asked me, “What makes you happy?” “What do you truly want to do?”

Well, Write. Read. Research. Home Decor. Anything House related. 

Sometimes simple questions are more complex than they sound. I know what makes me happy, but it feels like there’s  a bridge between us that I can’t seem to cross over.

Five years ago, I saw myself as a novelist someday. Today, I don’t just see myself as a novelist  someday, because my interests have since then reached into other areas other than fiction.  More realistic goals, I suppose.

If you’re a writer then you understand how difficult it is to find a full-time job in this field or be a full-time  writer.

I’m truly learning to be patient. :: patiently waiting, hoping, and praying for the change my heart so desires.

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You Make Motherhood Look So Easy!

Is motherhood as scary as it sounds?

For the past couple of weeks, since giving birth to my second baby, I’ve gotten comments such as, “You Make Motherhood Look So Easy!”

My first thought was, “What the heck does that even mean?”

I received this comment from a mom and from a friend who doesn’t have children yet.

I was so confused, so I asked my husband if I should be offended or flattered.Then I decided to ask for clarification from one of the persons who told me this—the one without children yet.  She further explained that as someone without kids yet, I made motherhood look like it wasn’t so bad and as scary as it sounds. I made it look easy. Maybe she could do it too after all. You know? Be a young mom and have a life too.

Then it hit me. Many women simply do not have kids yet because they are afraid of:

1) losing their freedom. 2) losing themselves along the way. 3) not having a life.

Often times, without realizing it, moms do scare women who don’t have any kids yet. All they hear when we talk about our children is all the scary stories about breastfeeding and crying babies or how toddlers will make you want to pull your hair out.

It is true that motherhood is not easy, but at the same time, it is the most rewarding journey any women can experience.  You will cry, laugh, possibly get depressed, but most importantly, your heart will explode—with love you never knew you could feel.

Spaces (1)Do I make motherhood look easy? No. I simply share my daily life as a mother and a writer.

Why should I give up my dream and passion for writing because I’m a mother?

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The key is, don’t lose yourself because you had a baby. Instead, let motherhood bring out the best in you and bring out new interests you never even knew existed.

For example, before motherhood, I did write, but it was mostly fiction. But now that I am a mother, I have developed new interests and topics in writing, and more opportunities within the writing realm has presented itself that I didn’t have before I became a mother. I made the decision to not use my children or motherhood as an excuse for not following my dream. I want to be an example for my children so that when they grow up, they too will follow their dreams and live a life with passion. No matter what. Is it easy? Absolutely not!

Some days I don’t write. Actually, not some, but more like several days go by without me even typing a single word. And that’s life—that’s motherhood.

So whatever field you’re in, don’t let motherhood scare you from being successful. If it’s painting, paint on. If it’s music, sing on. If it’s writing, write on.

Continue to grow as an artist and let the journey of motherhood be your inspiration. Embrace motherhood and its challenges and allow them to strengthen you, mamas!

 

 

Make Time for Yourself!

Make time for yourself.

Even if all you got is five minutes. Light a candle and read, write, think, meditate, or reflect–just you and your thoughts.

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We easily get carried away by life and everything that comes with it that taking a minute for ourselves becomes a challenge. But we all need that time.

Will you make time for yourself today? 

It’s Okay to Change Your Mind. Do What Makes You Happy!

I went through this a while ago, but I now found myself facing the same problem again. It is obviously a bigger deal than what I originally thought. As writers, it is so easy to fall in and out of love with writing. For me, it’s been a long time coming and I no longer enjoy writing fiction. I get excited about a new story-line, and start writing it with enthusiasm, but eventually the enthusiasm fades away, and then I no longer want to continue writing. This has been happening with the past four novels I have started writing. First, I thought that the story-line was not right, but I am now starting to realize that it’s not the story-line. I know the problem: ME.

I am the problem.

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This is my “I don’t want to write fiction anymore” face.

Writing fiction feels like something I have to do and not something I want to do. I’m happiest when I’m simply expressing myself through my thoughts on my blog and my journal.

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When I start writing fiction, I have to  plan, create, and plot. It feels like homework, so then I get easily frustrated.

It is not writer’s block. It is simply me falling out of love with something I always thought I loved.

Is it okay to say, “I don’t want to write fiction anymore?”

Is that giving up?

I personally do not see it as giving up. As we get older, our dreams change and our hobbies change as well. Fiction writing does not bring me joy like it once did. Instead, it makes me roll my eyes at the mere thought of creating new characters.

I went through this a few months ago, but then people started to encourage me to keep writing. But the more I kept writing the more miserable I became. The problem is that when people know you in a certain way or by a certain skill, it can be difficult to change and adapt to a new lifestyle. For a while now, people have known me as “the writer.” My book is yet to be published, but people know me as a fiction writer.

I don’t want to be known as “the fiction writer” anymore.wpid-img_20150102_235616.jpg

I’m here to tell you that it is completely okay to change your mind. Do what makes you happy. Life is too short to do what people want or expect you to be doing. You are building your future by the choices you are making today, so stop wasting your time doing what you could care less about.

Find that thing which you love and thrive at IT!

Some writers do not realize the importance of a writing space, but I am here to tell you that it is very important!

I’m finally spending more time in my “WRITING SPACE.”

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I remember when I was younger. All I wanted was a writing space/reading room/office/ writer’s space (however you want to call it). So when The Hubz and I bought our house, it was a must have on my list. People ask me where did I get ideas, as far as decorating and etc. I mostly got my ideas from Pinterest.  There is always room to get more creative, and I might change it around more in the future.wpid-2015-01-27-10.33.28-1.jpg.jpegI was having a hard time readjusting to writing, reading, and blogging after I had my baby. I love spending time in my office/writing space, and I missed it so much. I realized that the only way that I’ll use it again anytime soon when The Hubz comes home from work or if I just bring baby KLM with me.
So, I did. He seemed to enjoy his corner of the room.

Anyway, we’re spending lots of time in here now that I’m back at work, and am also working on my second novel.  I’m less on social media. I started writing a novel, but for some reason I keep getting stuck over and over again. There is a story pulling my leg, but I’ve been afraid to write about it. I dream about it almost everyday, and I know what my heart is telling me. I need to write about it.  On days where I get stuck, I read all the inspirational quotes that are on my wall, and it really does inspire me even more. I believe that having my own space contributes a lot to the success of my writing progress at times.
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Some writers do not realize the importance of a writing space, but I am here to tell you that it is very important! Yours does not have to be fancy or grand, it could be your bed. But find a place that you go to every single day, and write–even if just a word.

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What do you write about in your journal?

Today is such a beautiful day here in the valley. I took my kindle and my journal for a trip in my backyard.

There was a time in my life when I couldn’t go a day without writing in my journal. Oh, how times have changed. I’m challenging myself to write in my journal daily. I’m referring to a real journal–not a word document. There is something about handwriting in a journal verses typing on a computer. It’s more personal in my opinion.

What do you write about in your journal?

For me, I write about whatever comes to mind. There are no rules in my journal. I just write.

What happens when writing isn’t fun anymore?

For some time now, I have been feeling like writing fiction is a chore instead of my escape.  I used to be able to just sit for hours and enjoy writing. I used to look forward to writing fictional stories.

Have I gotten lazy?

Somewhere between finishing my Master’s in Creative Writing and trying to get published, I lost the bliss. I lost the desire to write fiction. Sure, I’ve had a lot going on the past few years and months (moving to a different state, getting married, grad school, new baby etc), but I don’t think it has anything to do with it. See, there was a time when I would write without the worry of getting published in the back of my mind or meeting a certain deadline for my agent. I would write simply because I wanted to and not because I had to. Writing fiction has turned into a pity chore in the past few years, and I do not enjoy it as much because of those reasons.

You would think that once I found my literary agent, my writing life would be “the dream life,” but instead I find myself losing interest in writing fiction more and more each day.

Maybe it is a phase that I’m going through.

Just the thought of editing or writing my novel makes me yawn or roll my eyes.

I enjoy writing on my blog, journaling, or simply jotting down my thoughts, but fiction writing … I’m dreading it these days.